The Newlywed Game was
the subject of an urban legend for many years. The story, which had several
variations, had Bob Eubanks asking a contestant "Where is the weirdest
place where you have ever had the urge to make whoopee?" in one episode.
The contestant supposedly responded "in the butt", implying anal intercourse.
Eubanks denied that the incident occurred for many years.
However, on a 2002 NBC
special, The Most Outrageous Game Show Moments, Eubanks reluctantly presented
a clip from a 1977 episode where he asked a wife named Olga where the weirdest
place that she and her husband Hank had the urge to "make whoopee" was.
After drawing a blank, and prodded by Eubanks to give an answer, the wife
responded "In the ass" (with "ass" bleeped out). As everyone in the studio
laughed uproariously, Eubanks clarified the question, asking for the weirdest
location.
A newlywed couple were at
their reception, where the DJ was playing "Mr & Mrs". If you're not
in the know, Mr and Mrs was a British TV game where one partner was asked
questions about the other whilst they were out of earshot, and then the
question was repeated to see if their answers matched.
The DJ was asking the
groom all sorts of questions such as "Which side of the bed does she sleep?"
and "What's her most disgusting habit?" when he came to the final question:
"Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?"
The groom started by
laughingly replying that he had no intention of answering, until eventually,
egged on by the baying audience, he replied:
"In the back of my car."
A huge roar of approval
went up as the bride was led back into the room, to give her replies to
the questions. The DJ went through all the questions again until finally
he got to the last: "Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?"
The bride started shaking
her head and muttering "No way" as the crowd began to bay for a reply.
Even the grannies and the old aunts were getting involved, pleading for
the answer. Eventually the groom came over and gently took her by the arm
saying "It's okay, honey, I told them."
"You're sure?" she asked,
nervously.
"Of course, darling,
I'm sure," he replied.
"Okay," she said. "If
you're sure."
Then slowly, holding
the microphone close to her chest, the bride announced to all their assembled
relatives and friends:
"Up the bottom."
How to Go
About Having Anal Sex for the First
Time
From a Woman's Point
of View
"Anal sex is very rewarding
from my point of view, I get some real powerful orgasms from it however
there are times I cannot do it because it hurts. There seems no way of
knowing until it hurts if it is going to hurt but 90% of the time its ok.
I was a girl who never had even had the idea of anal sex when my boyfriend
first talked to me about it, and I reluctantly agreed to try it. I don't
know how sexual you or how much of this you would be willing to do but
this is what happened to me. We talked about it and set a date to try it
- the day came around so we went out and got a nice bottle of wine (Mateuse
Rose) we drank it and he slowly massaged my entire body from head to toe,
then he started kissing my shoulders and continued to seduce me ever so
slowly while we kept drinking, this really relaxed me which I did not know
at the time. After a while he went down on me and gave me an amazing blow
job but stopped just short of giving me an orgasm. After the blow he rolled
me over and slowly started kissing the small of my back and then (a complete
shock to me) he started kissing my ass, slowly he worked down to my ass
hole and started licking it and using his tongue penetrate my butt hole
a little, This felt amazing and again almost gave me an orgasm right away.
after a few minutes of this, he rolled me over and continued to blow my
pussy while using his fingers on my pussy. After about 10 minutes of heaven
I noticed he had slipped a finger deep in my ass, but cant tell you when
he actually did it as it was just a natural progression and felt like magic.
While he fingered my asshole, and sucked on my clit, bringing me to orgasm
a couple of times, his cock got rock hard (no shit) then once I was really
loose he rolled me over (not bent over but lying on my tummy) and slowly
climbed on top of me again, kissing my neck and shoulders, I could feel
his cock all hot as it rubbed up against my leg and butt checks and slowly
he started to fuck me (in my pussy) still kissing me and getting me to
completely relax, then without making any fuss, he drew out of my pussy
and just nuzzled his tip of his cock against my asshole, and slowly just
poked it against it until it slipped in. He then slowly but very deeply
fucked fucked my ass until he dropped a great wad up my asshole. Wow, I
am a little wet just writing this now, so forgive me, anyway this is what
I suggest you do.
Spend a relaxing night
alone, and enjoy the entire night, remember she is dreading this ( I was
) so your job is to relax her. slowly drink wine, or spirits but not beer
and just mellow out. Treat her like a goddess, and be patient. Keep a tube
of KY jelly handy but out of sight, then fool about, just normal foreplay,
then play with her asshole, but don't try to fuck her in the ass right
away or you will never get it. Use a little jelly and just try to slip
in a finger, not deep to start off with, just a little once you get a finger
in your 90 % of the way there, it seems your ass resists but once something
has entered it size is not really a problem. Once you get a finger up play
about a little, don't try to spread her ass wide, (that all comes months
later) just enjoy it, then roll her over and gently fuck her pussy, and
after a while once your cock is all slippery take it out and cover it in
jelly, thats right even though its already wet, cover it in jelly then
just poke slowly if it hurts stop for a little whileand make her relax
again, but if your gentle you will shoot a load up her ass and she should
enjoy it. Once you get your cock up her ass, play with her clit with your
fingers this kills the pain dead, plus will if done right give her an orgasm.
In the mind if you do
it nice the first time and all goes ok, you will get it again, but if you
force and hurt her the chances of you getting your cock up there again
is next to none.
Take your time over the
first few months, each time it will get easier to do it but if she says
no just stop and try again another day, never push it.
After about 2 - 3 months
of doing this once a week, you will be getting into more forcefully and
fun anal sex, try other positions, it's great, and the girls I know who
like anal sex, really get a taste for it.
Good luck!!!!
For men and women, anal
sex is a different, tighter sensation, it’s a little bit naughty and it
provides some variety to normal sex. Anal sex has a tang of taboo attached
to it, though this is falling away: The taboo status of anal sex gives
it better credence among the adventuresome and timid alike, and this adds
to its attraction. Once tried, however, anal sex can quickly lose its appeal
for women (and some men). Here we will discuss some of the reasons why
women love and hate anal sex.
Anal sex is just one
of those things: she either loves it, or she hates it. There is very little
in between. Most women have tried it at some point, and a fair few of them
will never dare again despite their hankering to be one of the "lucky ones"
who love anal sex. The reason for this avoidance is clear: pain. If there
was no pain, there was probably pleasure. Hence, love or hate.
It is true, however,
that while you're trying to "get it right" there are likely to be some
painful moments, practice makes perfect and it’s the ability to maneuver
oneself and try different styles that allows anal sex to be pleasurable.
Women love anal sex because
it can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation and it doesn’t
feel like anything else she may have felt before -- it's deep inside, it's
not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both
in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body. The rectum,
once it’s ready, literally swallows the penis up and can’t get enough.
The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. If the clitoris
and/or vagina are stimulated while you are inside of her, it can take her
to another sexual realm. Anal orgasms are possible.
Anal sex is not easy
to master when you haven’t done it before. For a man it may seem straight
forward -- in, out -- but it isn’t this simple. Women hate anal sex primarily
because it hurts. It can cause cold sweats, shivers, extreme agony, and
a massive chemical release into the blood stream that causes pain. This
is highly unpleasant, but may be endured because A) She wants to like it;
and B) She wants you to like it.
If you're not very careful,
if you don’t warm her up properly, if you don’t go slowly enough, you will
probably hurt her. This really minimizes your chances for trying anal sex
again. Do your best every time and you have at least a fighting chance
at having another go.
Lubricant is essential
The anal canal does not
produce its own lubricant, so it is imperative that you use a good quality
lubricant in all your anal adventures. It is advisable to use a silicon-based
lubricant because they tend to last longer and don’t dry up very quickly
like some water-based lubricants do. Don’t use sticky petroleum-based products
like Vaseline, as they clog up the walls of the rectum and are much too
sticky.
Tease her
It is very important
that she is very turned on before you even go near her butt. When she's
turned on, her body is much more open to you than if you she is only mildly
turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Then, when
you start to touch her closer to her anus, she will respond with moans
and groans instead of a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with oils,
relax her, love her, adore her, and caress her. Get her to the point where
she is begging you for it, and do this without putting a single thing in
her -- tease, tease, tease. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual
tools we have -- use it to your advantage.
Do not ever put your penis
into a woman’s body without her express permission. Do not treat her body
like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to ejaculate in or
on, and if she is kind enough to share her beautiful butt with you, treat
it with respect and be happy you were allowed close enough to breathe her
in at all. Don’t ejaculate inside of her if requested not to. Don’t slam,
jackhammer or be forceful either. |
